I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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