we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
