I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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