This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
