Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
