note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize