By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
