I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
