Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
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