WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
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