airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
