Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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