Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
