respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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