Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize