The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
