butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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