Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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