I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
