who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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