idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize