Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
