their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
