when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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