I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize