I'm eating all of the evidence.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
