So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
