I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
There's always time for handjobs
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
