Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
He has the fingertips of a God
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