I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
two words: eviction party
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Will exercising make me less horny?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
