I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
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