I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Do vagina's smell?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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