just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
