Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
accomplished twins. life is a go
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
