In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
