dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Randomize
