didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
She has the best kind of daddy issues
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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