I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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