So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
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