Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
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