Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
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