You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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