margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Randomize
