what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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