I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
areolas are like halos for boobs.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
So much Jack, so little girl.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Randomize
