Umm I'm too high to move.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Is it penis luge time yet?
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life