when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.