i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.