had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up