K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
naw, they were rude, not me.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄