oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.