did you get engaged???
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
These 21 Drunks Said The Darndest Things
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
These 25 Irresponsible People Blew All Their Cash On Drugs, Booze, & Sex
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...