He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.