You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
