So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
