He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
you inspire me to be a worse person
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
