I need help removing her.
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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