...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
