i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize