you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
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