I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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