she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
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