super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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