if i can run in heels then i can drive
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
