Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
