Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
