I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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