i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize