can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
