we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
