My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
