I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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