just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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