I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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