For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
