If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Small penises have feelings too.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Do vagina's smell?
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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