you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
